There’s a famous quote from cartoon character Bart Simpson that makes the rounds especially in November. Bart is sitting at the Thanksgiving Table, with the turkey and trimmings and family all around. They all bow their heads to pray and he says, “Dear God. We paid for all this stuff anyway. So thanks for nothing. Amen.”
There’s something repulsive and twisted about ingratitude. When we hear it in others it’s extremely embarrassing because it seems so perverse. Yet we often fail to attack it as passionately when we practice it ourselves. And most are not nearly as grateful as we think we are. As a licensed counselor I deal with clients every day in various stages of trouble. You might be surprised to hear that many of them, when asked how grateful they are, repeat the words of one guy who said, “I know I have many problems, but ingratitude is not one of them.” Meanwhile, he spent 30 minutes complaining about his situation. That’s part of the challenge of gratitude. Most of us don’t even know what it means. Because we would never do what Bart Simpson did we think we are grateful people.
But the truth is, ingratitude is not just a repulsive, twisted social perversion confined to spike-haired cartoon characters. It’s a sin we all commit daily—one of the most blatant sins I might add--against God himself. The Bible has much to say about it. In the course of this study we will consider why that is.
Because gratitude is one of those poorly understood words I think we need to begin by defining it carefully. After that, I’m going to ask you to take a quick little survey of your own level of gratitude: I call it your “gratitude quotient.”
Defining Gratitude
Gratitude is much more than just saying “please” and “thank you.” I define it as:
The memory of an experience to which I see some new value and then take action to affirm that value to myself and others.
Notice the three components:
The Memory of an experience…
Someone once said that gratitude is the fond memories of the heart. It’s important to understand that gratitude cannot exist without some kind of memory. Preferably, that memory is fond (see below).
… I see some new value…
The essence of my definition of gratitude is the focus on “new value.” We cannot experience gratitude or thanksgiving without it. Notice too the word “new” in front of value. We typically have little appreciation for old and familiar things. It’s the new ones that make us take notice. Also, that word “value” is important. It means we recognize the worth or cost of something. Gratitude isn’t limited to things we like, or even things that make us feel good. It can even follow difficult or painful experiences if we assign a favorable value to them.
…take action to affirm that value to myself and others
Finally, there is no gratitude without action. Once the value of a memory has been attributed we have to do something about it. We affirm it to ourselves and others. This may mean we talk about it or we act in such a way that it is evident to others that we have valued it.
Gratitude in this sense is not easy. Nor is it natural. It is something we must learn to express. For this reason I find it best to describe as a developmental process. Notice five steps in the development:
Gratitude, Self-Interest and the Interests of Others
A developmental approach to gratitude begins with Social Gratitude (Level 1) and ends with Pure Gratitude (Level 5). What’s the difference? The amount of personal benefit (self-interest) we expect to receive. In Social Gratitude there is a high degree of self-interest. We get a high personal return when we live in a community where basic social graces like manners and etiquette are followed. On the other end of the scale, Pure Gratitude means we expect to get very little benefit from our demonstrations. If you notice the scale, the higher on the Gratitude Scale, the less self-interest we have and the more other-interest. Notice how the Bible describes self-interest.
1 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:1-5).
Let’s take a look now at some of the development stages of gratitude and see how these positive emotions can overcome ingratitude and a host of other mood challenges.
Level I: Social Gratitude
Remembering to display basic etiquette and politeness regardless of the circumstances around me.
EXAMPLES: I say please. I don’t burp out loud. I hold the door open.
The rule of thumb for social gratitude is this: what kind of family (neighborhood, church, world) would this be if everyone in it were just like me? This is the “golden rule” (Matthew 7:12).
Level II: Personal Gratitude
Remembering to express the value of people and things that benefit me.
EXAMPLES: I send a Thank You note. I smile, speak clearly and look them in the eyes.
While self-interest is a natural motivation for displays of gratitude, it is not the best one. Too much emphasis on self-interest ultimately results in ingratitude because self-interest and personal expectations are often disappointed. Therefore, it is essential that personal gratitude be transformed into something supernatural, empowered by the Spirit of God. Practically, this means looking for ways to affirm the ways others have attempted to benefit our lives based less on what we receive than on the effort by the giver.
Level III: Hidden Gratitude
Purposing to express anonymously the value of people and things that benefit me
EXAMPLES: I send an anonymous gift, I perform a hidden acts of kindness to someone in need. I meet the wishes of another without drawing attention to myself.
Hidden Gratitude is a big step up on the Self-Interest Scale because it takes self out of the picture. Jesus touched on this dynamic in his Sermon the Mount when he warned about the prayers and alms of the self-righteous. In practicing their piety for public display (self-interest) they demonstrate that their actions are more about getting the approval of others than showing gratitude to God. Matthew 6:2-5.
Level IV: Higher Gratitude
Transforming my painful memories by redefining their value and expressing it to others
EXAMPLES: I see hurtful experiences from my childhood from God’s point of view and thank him for them because of what they produce in me (see Hebrews 12).
The higher we advance on the gratitude scale, the less we rely on outward appearances. As the old saying goes, “looks can be deceiving.” Higher gratitude means we look differently at situations, “redefining their value and expressing it to others.” This means two people may look at the same event and see very different things. It depends on your point of view. Mental health professionals have developed a technique that Christians desiring to express higher gratitude can apply. It’s called “cognitive reframing.” You can see how cognitive reframing equips God’s people to express gratitude throughout the Scripture. Notice how did Paul reframe his suffering so he could give higher grace to God in Galatians 6:17; 2 Corinthians 12:9,10; Philippians 4:11-13.
Level V: Pure Gratitude
Expressing the value of others not for what they do but simply for who they are
EXAMPLES: I praise God for who he is regardless of my feelings or experiences.
As fallen creatures self-interest is “hard wired” into our very nature therefore it is humanly impossible to consistently demonstrate the purer forms of gratitude as long as we inhabit these sin-infested bodies.
However, Scripture promises that Christians have the indwelling presence of God through the Holy Spirit who enables us to do things we could not do on our own. Pure Gratitude is always an evidence of God’s work in us. We cannot take any credit for it ourselves. Romans 8:3,4.
The Cash Value of Gratitude
Recall my definition of gratitude:
A memory of an experience to which I see some new value
and then take action to affirm that value to myself and others.
Notice again that idea of “value.” Sometimes people talk about the “cash value” of something. In other words, if it you were to buy it, how much would it cost? If we could assign a cash value to objects, or experiences, or even people, how much would they be worth? In order to practice gratitude effectively we must take a closer look at the worth or value of our experiences.
The Worth of Gratitude: What's it Cost?
The essence of gratitude is captured in the concept of value or worth. When a memory seems to have value or worth we are more likely to feel grateful. Thus, when someone gives us a gift of obvious worth, we acknowledge that worth with words or acts of thanks. The more worthwhile to us, usually the more gratitude we express. Gratitude is even more active when we perceive some new value—something we didn’t experience before. This doesn't mean it is literally new but often that we see the value in a new way.
But how is value determined? Why do some things seem more valuable than others? Value and worth can be very subjective, just ask the parent who receives a crude gift from his toddler. It's not that there is no intrinsic or objective value in objects, rather that the awareness of objective value is a subjective perception. Thus, value is determined not as much by intrinsic cost as by significance or meaning to us. This explains why, in our age of affluence, children can get expensive gifts and be so ungrateful. It's not about the cost of the gift itself as much as its meaning to them. Thus, in order to value the memories we retrieve we must have some way of evaluating their significance in our lives.
The Merit of Gratitude: Do I Deserve it?
There's another part to this, it's captured in the root word from which our English gratitude is derived. It's the Latin, “gratis” also translated “grace.” Worth is a product of a kind of economic differential between the objective value of the gift (it's meaning to us) and what we expect (whether we think we deserve it).
This is an important clue in implementing our own gratitude management plan. Only when experiences are processed through the grid of undeserved favor (that’s what grace is) can we experience gratitude. If we think we deserve it, we won’t be as grateful.
Why would one feel like a gift was undeserved or unexpected? Our natural reaction to some gift is rooted in an inflated view of our own significance or importance to which we compare the gift itself. You see this with kids all the time who are disappointed with their presents, ripping off the wrappings one after another barely noticing them. This is the exact opposite of grace.
Notice that gratitude is also bound up with the issue of self-worth. The more we value ourselves the less we will value gifts and the less gratitude we will experience. There can be no gratitude without humility.
The Communication of Gratitude: What Can I Say?
Words we speak in our heads (called self-talk) and to others not only express thoughts and feelings we have from the past (memories). They also shape the thoughts and feelings we will have in the future (expectations). For this reason, communication about gifts both expresses and portends their meaning and their value. How do we determine the meaning of an experience, and ultimately its value? It’s not as simple as it may seem. One thing is for sure, the way we talk about it to ourselves and others is part of the process.
In other words, if we get a gift from someone and send a thank you note but behind their backs complain about how cheap it is, we have actually undermined its value, just by our words.
Now that we’ve looked more carefully at some of the different components in gratitude it’s time to look in the mirror at yourself. I call this your Gratitude Quotient. You’ll notice that I’ve itemized the five developmental steps in gratitude and given some diagnostic choices for each one.
What’s Your Gratitude Quotient?
Social Gratitude
1 2 3 4 I say “please” and “thank you” to others
1 2 3 4 I am conscious of table manners when I’m eating
1 2 3 4 I try not to make unnecessary or extra work for others by my
personal activities
1 2 3 4 If I see someone struggling with a hardship of some kind I assist
them as best as I can
Total Score: ________
Personal Gratitude
1 2 3 4 I am careful to speak respectfully to others—even if we have a
conflict
1 2 3 4 I send notes of appreciation to those who give me gifts or do nice
things for me
1 2 3 4 I try to smile and maintain eye contact with others who do or say
things to me
1 2 3 4 On average, I go out of my way to express appreciation to others
every day
Total Score: ________
Hidden Gratitude
1 2 3 4 I enjoy giving gifts or doing nice things for others anonymously
1 2 3 4 I give a gift or do something nice for someone anonymously at least
once per week
1 2 3 4 If someone fails to acknowledge a gift or something I do for them I
am not hurt or upset
1 2 3 4 I don’t need to be appreciated or noticed for the good things I do
Total Score: ________
Higher Gratitude
1 2 3 4 I look for ways to be grateful or thankful for painful experiences from
my past
1 2 3 4 When experiencing difficulty I am open to input from others on how it
may benefit me
1 2 3 4 I spend time praying that God will help me process painful events
from my past
1 2 3 4 Even though I have painful memories, I know how to transform them
through gratitude
Total Score: ________
Pure Gratitude
1 2 3 4 I spend time daily praising God for who he is, not just for what he has
done for me
1 2 3 4 I actively resist the urge to feel entitled to good things or the kindness
of others
1 2 3 4 I am increasingly aware that life is not about my plans but about
God’s
1 2 3 4 I understand the phrase, God is most glorified in us when we are
most satisfied in him.
Total Score: ________
Scoring Key: 4 – 7 Low Gratitude Quotient in this area
8 – 11 Average Gratitude Quotient in this area
12 – 15 High Gratitude Quotient in this area
How Gratitude Transforms the Brain
Gratitude is a powerful gift from God that not only benefits others but ourselves. Consistent patterns of gratitude actually create new neural pathways, releasing positive emotions and thereby changing our perceptions about the greatest problems of life. How is that possible?
Your brain is the most amazing of all God’s creations. I don’t have time to go into detail about the various systems and subsystems here. I have done that elsewhere.[1] But I do want to highlight one of these important neural systems for it is especially impacted by gratitude. It’s called the Affective Brain. It is the hub of our motives, attitudes and emotions. The Affective Brain consists of four subsystems.
Gratitude and the Sensory Memory System
The sensory memory system includes the five senses. These are the gateways for experience. Without them we would have no memories. What we see, taste, touch, hear or smell affects our ability to be grateful.
The senses actually have their own kind of memory. It only lasts for a fraction of a second but it’s a form of memory and an important step in the development of long term memories.
This is one of the reasons we are supposed to say prayers of thanksgiving to God each day—for example, at meals. The raw images or sensory experiences as we look at the meal table don’t last long—most of them are less than one second. However, by using all our senses to appreciate the value or worth of what is spread before us we enable the rest of the Affective Brain to respond with gratitude.
Gratitude and the Short Term Memory System
I like to picture the next complicated step of affective development in very simplistic terms. It’s the only way I can really appreciate it. So I will apologize for the oversimplification in advance and admit that it is much more complicated than this. But here is the simple version of how gratitude affects the second subsystem of the Affective Brain.
Brief sensory memories send data to tiny “file cabinets” or memory storage compartments in the Short Term Memory System.
Let’s picture three file cabinets.
PAINFUL MEMORIES
Located in the mid-brain, the Amygdala are like two tiny almonds, one on each side of the brain. The Amygdala has many duties, but the one most relevant to our study relates to the storage of memories related to pain. They are experiences we would rather not repeat. This is where many of the childhood fears and insecurities are stored.
For many years Neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux has been providing us with fascinating research on the role of the Amygdala in pain and memory processing. I can’t go into the details here but if you are interested in exploring this subject more you should check him out. It is because of this tiny organ depressed people struggle so much with their emotions, especially the persistence of painful memories that seem to overtake us and refuse to be controlled. These painful memories make gratitude especially difficult.
For example, let’s say during a car crash a man smashes his head on the steering wheel, setting off the horn and breaking his nose. He’s hurt, scared and the sound of the car horn is deafening.
Fast forward a few months. One day he hears a car horn outside his house and, seemingly without warning, a parade of memories of the accident overcome him. He remembers the facts--the road he was driving, the make of an oncoming car and the feeling of impact of he had during the crash. He also “feels” the memory as if it were happening again: his heart starts to pound, he breaks into a cold sweat and his muscles tense. He may feel some kind of panic as if it’s going to happen again—all because of a car horn in the distance!
So, what’s happening in the Affective Brain? LeDoux explains there is a difference between the factual or details of memory—stored in certain parts of the brain (Cognitive Brain or cerebral cortex) and the feelings generated when the memory was initiated—stored in the Amygdala [2]. So, one of the reasons we have trouble being grateful is that experiences get put in this Pain Drawer and, as we know, pain is something we usually try to avoid.
PLEASANT MEMORIES
Ice cream and cake, warm sunshine, a tender embrace--these are feelings we remember as pleasant. Events that create them are stored in another part of the Limbic System. It’s a bit of an oversimplification, by I like to focus on the Nucleus Accumbens as the drawer for pleasant memories.
Scientists have found a direct link between the feelings of pleasure and the receipt and anticipation of reward.[3]
The Nucleus Accumbens seems to be especially important in how we process and remember pleasure. For example, using electrodes connected to the Nucleus Accumbens of lab mice, researchers found that just the expectation of a pleasure lights up the Nucleus Accumbens releasing neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin (see below).
On the other hand, one person’s painful memory can be another’s pleasant one. Thus, the taste and memory of broccoli might be activate memories in one person’s Amygdala but and another’s Nucleus Accumbens! Facts include what was going on during the first experience of broccoli experience. For example, if mother made you eat broccoli in the midst of much protest, it will probably have more impact on the Painful Memory drawer. On the other hand, there is no reason, neurologically speaking, eating broccoli might be a most pleasant past-time, akin to eating a chocolate bar! In that case it would be in the Pleasant Memories drawer.
MOTIVATIONAL MEMORIES
Much mystery attends the Cingulate Gyrus. I’m going to call it the Motivational Memories drawer because it seems to be involved especially in the anticipation of reward For most children, a birthday party memory gets stored not only in the Nucleus Accumbens, but there will also be some memories that get stored in the Cingulate Gyrus, especially those involved in counting down the days!
Gratitude, particularly in the presence of some difficult experience, can dramatically alter how a memory is filed away in the cabinet. Let’s say you have some painful event—a serious illness for which you must spend a week in the hospital. The details of that experience will first of all impact your sensory memory.
You will smell the antiseptic smells of the hospital room, you will hear the sound of the medical monitors and the quiet drone of the medical staff, you will see the doctor in his surgical scrubs. All these sensory memories will be sent, along with emotional data, to your short term memory files. If this visit to the hospital follows previous visits where there was much fear, anxiety and worry, there is a good chance the sensory memories will be sent to the “pain drawer” because that’s what the Affective Brain expects this to be: another painful, traumatic experience.
But here is where gratitude can change the way memories are stored. For example, if you made it a specific point to practice the developmental stages of gratitude—social, personal, hidden, higher, pure—there would be new neural pathways created that include some more positive emotions—even in the hospital. This leads to the next point.
Gratitude and the Regulatory Control System
I cannot emphasize enough that gratitude and ingratitude involve patterns of feelings not just events. And when we talk about feelings scientifically we are talking about the Hypothalamus. The Hypothalamus is like a little thermostat in the brain turning on and off the molecules that generate emotion. They are called neurotransmitters.
Therefore, on this visit to the hospital the Regulatory Control System, the third subsystem of the Affective Brain, is in full swing, releasing, absorbing and mixing various neurotransmitters based in great part on what we expect to happen next.
For most of us, those neurotransmitters will trigger “negative” emotions—fear, anxiety, worry. However, expressing gratitude as I’ve proposed also releases neurotransmitters. And, over time, they will transform our emotions.
Psychologist and brain researcher Robert Emmons describes in detail some of the neurological changes that occur when we develop patterns of gratitude.
…we know that dopamine and serotonin circulating in certain regions of the brain are related to happiness and other pleasurable feeligns. A number of converging lines of evidence indicate that the neurotransmitter dopamine modulates and is required for short-term perception and expression of gratitude. Dopamine is distributed in the brain in such a way as to affect diverse brain systems, including motivation, salience, reward, and emotion in addition to movement and executive function.
This chemical regulates reward, pleasure and motivation—all of which are central to gratitude. Dopaminergic activity in the frontal lobes very likely influences levels of gratitude or at least the capacity to feel grateful. Dopamine juices the joy we experience when we celebrate goodness from reflecting on what is in our gratitude journals. This neurotransmitter increaes the probablily that a person will feel gratitude by noticing gratitude-inspiring events. Moreover, accumulating evidence indicates that dopamine cells in regions of the brain sensitive to reward (the striatum and nucleus accumbens) respond most strongly to unanticipated reward. After a reward has become routine or expected, dopamine cell firing is substantially reduced.[4]
Emmons’ point is that dopamine, what I call the “I Want it Chemical” causes us to focus on particular objects or experiences and anticipate some kind of benefit. When we view an experience or person or event with gratitude in our hearts dopamine surges in the brain will change our feelings about it, regardless of the circumstances themselves.
Gratitude and the Mapping System
Finally, the Mapping System is responsible for the consolidation of memories and creates our expectations of what they mean and what will happen next. The Hippocampus is an amazing organ in the Affective Brain. It connects the “dots” of experience, ordering and arranging them in some kind of meaningful perception.
The Hippocampus was identified by Guilo Aranzi in the 16th century. It was given its name because it looked like a sea horse (In Greek, sea horse is HIPPOKAMPOS). The Hippocampus itself is a small banana shaped tube in the middle of the brain. Its function has been much discussed, debated and disputed but is generally thought to be a kind of internal “GPS” device (global position satellite) helping us locate ourselves and our experiences in time and space.
Thus, the Hippocampus helps us map our relationship to the world, answering the question, “what does this mean?” This is why I call it the Mapping System.
To save memory processing space and speed, God designed the brain to utilize what computer engineers today call “predictive intelligence.” The Affective Brain uses stored memories to make predictions about what it all means—often even before all the gaps and details of knowledge are filled in.
Thus, we experience an event, and messages about it are processed through the various subsystems we’ve discussed. The Hippocampus arranges the various data points and, even before we see the whole picture, produces a perception of what is there. This becomes the basis for predictions of what it means and what we should do next.
Because these predictions represent a subjective arrangement of information, the reality may not at all be like what we predict. This explains why different ones can look at the same set of circumstances and come to different conclusions about what they mean. It explains optimists and pessimists—why two people can look at the same glass of water and one sees it half full and one half empty. No wonder our perceptions and predictions about the future are such a significant source of stress in our lives.
So, what happens if the data stored in our cabinets is not encoded correctly? What if we rely too much on incomplete or erroneous information? What if we fail to see differences between the past and current situation?
Inaccuracy and inconsistency in the arrangement of data in the Affective Brain is one of the primary culprits in the class of problems I call Affective Disorders. And because so much of the data stored in the various filing cabinets of the Affective Brain is subconscious— below the level of awareness—these stresses and anxieties are difficult to identify--not to mention overcome. If we hope to manage these hidden stresses and anxieties we’ll have to develop a strategy that allows us to access them and then reprocess them.
Think of the old dot-to-dot coloring books you played with as a child. The page contains a seeming random array of tiny black dots. However, closer examination reveals a little number by each one. By drawing lines from each number to the next, a meaningful, coherent picture results. That’s what the Hippocampus does with the various data points of experience. It assembles/orders them into perceptions. But what happens if it arranges them incorrectly?
Here is where gratitude is a most powerful tool of affective change. Gratitude allows us to look at a particular array of data—others might call “terrible”—and see something hopeful. This is what I mean by Stage IV: Higher Gratitude.
Transforming my painful memories by redefining their value and expressing it to others
This kind of gratitude may seem just like wishful thinking. However, according to the Bible, it is much more. For example, many Bible characters faced terrible suffering and persecution but did so without depression or hopelessness. How? Because they had a “higher gratitude.” They were able to transform the painful memory by redefining its value.
What possible value could there be in suffering? I could share many examples, but one will suffice. It was how the Apostle Paul described his own suffering.
Apparently Paul had some kind of physical affliction. Bible scholars disagree about what it was. Perhaps it was some kind of physical disease. We don’t know. But Paul called it his “thorn in the flesh.” It so vexed him he intensely prayed that God would remove it.
But after three attempts, God made it clear that it was not his plan to remove it. Rather, God’s plan was to leave it as a constant reminder to Paul of his own weakness and need to depend on God for strength. Remarkably, Paul followed up this assessment with this appraisal, demonstrating his “higher gratitude.”
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:9,10).
Notice that word “delight.” It’s an emotion. Literally, the word means what brings a “light” to our eyes—a smile to our face. Paul had learned how even suffering and pain could make him happy. How? By his gratitude.
Gratitude and Obedience
I made a statement earlier that may have caught you by surprise. I said that according to God ingratitude is one of the gravest of sins. I didn’t explain why that is true and I need to as we wrap up our study. Why would God find ingratitude so deplorable and, by implication, gratitude so commendable?
Notice these words from the Bible:
For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.
Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen (Romans 1:21-25)
I am especially focusing on that phrase, For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.
Those who refuse to give thanks to God—in other words, who ignore the command to be grateful—commit an avalanche of other sins as well: their thinking becomes futile and their hearts become dark. They become fools. They end up worshipping created things instead of the Creator. As a result, God “gives them over to the sinful desires of their hearts.” In effect, God says, “you refuse to acknowledge who gave you all these things? Okay then, see what it is like to live life without me at the center!”
In God’s estimation, ingratitude is certainly more serious than most of us are ready to admit. Seen from this perspective, Bart Simpson’s perverse prayer becomes all that more frightening in its implications.
My point is this: if all I have said in the preceding pages is not enough to motivate you to admit your ingratitude and pursue a life of thanksgiving, perhaps this will: God hates ingratitude. It is one of the most vile and despicable sins of humanity.
We have all heard about the Ten Commandments. Ingratitude is not mentioned as one of them. But that’s because it underlies them all. Maybe you’ve heard about sins of “commission” versus sins of “omission.” To commit a sin means to make a willful choice to do something God has commanded us not to do. This is what most of us understand by sin.
However, there is another class of sins we conveniently overlook. It’s the sins of omission. A sin of omission is when we don’t do things we are supposed to do. And in some ways, sins of omission are more serious than sins of commission.
It seems to me that the Ten Commandments represent sins of commission. As such they are serious transgressions of God’s moral law and affronts to his character. However, ingratitude is a sin of omission that often precedes the sins of commission therefore underlies them all. For example, the First Commandment says we should have no other gods but one. In other words, to worship false gods is a sin of commission.
However, why would someone worship a false god in the first place? It’s because of the sin of ingratitude. They have omitted to recognize who God truly is and the preeminent position he must hold in our lives.
Could it be that ingratitude is so offensive to God because it not only strikes a blow at his creation but at God himself? You see, God’s desire is that we worship and glorify him in everything we think, say and do. When we fail in the command to be thankful it is proof that we really are not worshipping him. Most likely we are worshipping someone or something else.
Finding Our Greatest Pleasure
If this sounds too harsh and draconian, let me give you another perspective. Think of God as a loving father. Like all good dads he has provided everything he can for his children’s well being. He loves to see them happy. In fact, he has no greater pleasure than to see them smile. And he knows there is no greater smile than the smile of genuine, “pure gratitude.” But instead of gratitude his children ignore his good gifts. Or if they enjoy them they fail to acknowledge who gave them. That inevitably leads to complaints and disappointment, for the things God gives can never satisfy as much as he himself. Can you appreciate a bit more why gratitude is so important?
Theologian and author John Piper has spent his career admonishing people to find their greatest pleasure in God alone. Not surprisingly, his reflections often turn to gratitude. I want to conclude this study with an extended quote from Piper:
The glory of bread is that it satisfies. The glory of living water is that it quenches thirst. We do not honor the refreshing, self-replenishing, pure water of a mountain spring by lugging buckets of water up the path to make our contributions from the ponds below. We honor the spring by feeling thirsty, getting down on our knees, and drinking with joy. Then we say, “Ahhhh!” (that’s worship!), and we go on our journey in the strength of the fountain (that’s service). The mountain spring is glorified most when we are most satisfied with its water.
Tragically, most of us have been taught that duty, not delight, is the way to glorify God. We have not been taught that delight in God is our duty! Being satisfied in God is not an optional add-on to the real stuff of Christian duty. It is the most basic demand of all. “Delight yourself in the LORD” (Psalm 37:4) is not a suggestion, but a command. So are: “Serve the LORD with gladness” (Psalm 100:2), and, “Rejoice in the Lord always” (Philippians 4:4).
This is why the psalmist Asaph cried out, “Whom have I in heaven but you? Besides you I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever” (Psalm 73:25–26). Nothing on the earth—none of God’s good gifts of creation—could satisfy Asaph’s heart. Only God could. This is what David meant when he said to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good besides you” (Psalm 16:2).
…It is not for God’s gifts that David yearns like a heartsick lover. Only God will satisfy a heart like David’s, and David was a man after God’s own heart. That’s the way we were created to be. This is the essence of what it means to love God—to be satisfied in him. In him! Loving God may include obeying all his commands; it may include believing all his Word; it may include thanking him for all his gifts; but the essence of loving God is enjoying all he is. It is this enjoyment of God that glorifies his worth most fully, especially when all around our soul gives way. We all know this intuitively as well as from Scripture. Do we feel most honored by the love of those who serve us from the constraints of duty, or from the delights of fellowship? My wife is most honored when I say, “It makes me happy to spend time with you.” My happiness is the echo of her excellence. So it is with God. He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.
None of us has arrived at perfect satisfaction in God. I grieve often over the murmuring of my heart at the loss of worldly comforts, but I have tasted that the Lord is good. By God’s grace I now know the fountain of everlasting joy, and so I love to spend my days luring people into joy until they say with me, “One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to inquire in his temple” (Psalm 27:4, RSV).[5]
[1] See my easy to understand booklet, Your Amazing Brain Train, available from Fortress Institute.
[2] A very easy to understand explanation by LeDoux can be found at http://bigthink.com/videos/the-amygdala-in-5-minutes
[3] See, Ernst, Monique, et al. The Triadic Model of the Neurobiology of Motivated Behavior where details of the interaction between pain, pleasure and motivation are described, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2733162/
[4] Robert Emmons, Gratitude Works: A 21 Day Program for Creating Emotional Prosperity, 2013, p. 44
[5] John Piper, A Godward Life, p. 20-24